I will start by stating that at this point in time, I am happily single. It wasn’t exactly this way from the beginning but it is now. I’ve come a long way. I’ve come from a family of an abusive mother, a mostly-absentee father and a much older brother. I was growing up being practically an only child.
My now ex-husband that is coincidentally the father of my beautiful girls, was abusive as well. Coming from my background as it was, I allowed him to do or say whatever he wanted that sunk me even deeper into the hole. I was not assertive at all and took everything he said or did, for granted. Long story short, it was a nightmare.
I can’t shake off certain words thrown at me around the divorce time. My now ex had told me that I would never make it without him, that after having been a housewife for the duration of the marriage, I wouldn’t be able to find a job and even if I did find it, I wouldn’t be able to keep it. In the end, I would return begging him to take me back. Sadly enough, my father was kind of singing along by questioning, what will you do without him?
Today I can proudly say that I have made it on my own. Oh yes!! I don’t need anyone to support me, much less my now ex; needless to say, I am NOT begging. I’m a survivor, a born-again assertive one, and have somehow become a devil’s advocate in the process. Yes, I have found a job and was able to keep it; I had worked long hours and lived below my means. Have you ever pulled a double shift? Well, I have, and a few of them in a week time; had to get to used to sleep fast in between. Ditto for the 12-hour shifts.
The time flew by, now that my kids are grown and gone and I am retired, I know that I have made it. I had to work hard to get to where I am now, but nevertheless, here I am standing proud.
In retrospect, all this was probably meant to be as it has made me stronger. Now I am a homeowner of my little studio and I have an excellent credit score, over 800 as of the last Credit Karma. I don’t need anyone’s help, much less my ex’s, in order to make it. Heck, I can make it on my own! I have made it alone, against all odds. Like swimming against a stream. Or running against a wind.
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