I will start by stating that at this point in time, I am happily single. It wasn’t exactly this way from the beginning but it is now. I’ve come a long way. I’ve come from a family of an abusive mother, a mostly-absentee father and a much older brother. I was growing up being practically an only child.
My now ex-husband that is coincidentally the father of my beautiful girls, was abusive as well. Coming from my background as it was, I allowed him to do or say whatever he wanted that sunk me even deeper into the hole. I was not assertive at all and took everything he said or did, for granted. Long story short, it was a nightmare.
I can’t shake off certain words thrown at me around the divorce time. My now ex had told me that I would never make it without him, that after having been a housewife for the duration of the marriage, I wouldn’t be able to find a job and even if I did find it, I wouldn’t be able to keep it. In the end, I would return begging him to take me back. Sadly enough, my father was kind of singing along by questioning, what will you do without him?
Today I can proudly say that I have made it on my own. Oh yes!! I don’t need anyone to support me, much less my now ex; needless to say, I am NOT begging. I’m a survivor, a born-again assertive one, and have somehow become a devil’s advocate in the process. Yes, I have found a job and was able to keep it; I had worked long hours and lived below my means. Have you ever pulled a double shift? Well, I have, and a few of them in a week time; had to get to used to sleep fast in between. Ditto for the 12-hour shifts.
The time flew by, now that my kids are grown and gone and I am retired, I know that I have made it. I had to work hard to get to where I am now, but nevertheless, here I am standing proud.
In retrospect, all this was probably meant to be as it has made me stronger. Now I am a homeowner of my little studio and I have an excellent credit score, over 800 as of the last Credit Karma. I don’t need anyone’s help, much less my ex’s, in order to make it. Heck, I can make it on my own! I have made it alone, against all odds. Like swimming against a stream. Or running against a wind.
Pingback: Origin Story
Linked to Love that KILLs by Calmkate
What an interesting and inspirational post.
I’d love to have you share your views with us in the comments of this blog post I wrote : https://rinsebeforeuse.wordpress.com/2016/08/25/happily-single/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Everyone despite dependence needs to stand alone. Your story is inspiring for all those who find themselves in similar adverse situation in life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, it is a good feeling indeed. Thanks for the comment, Mary
LikeLike
Congratulations on making it on your own! It’s a good feeling, isn’t it? Though my past circumstances were different from yours, I too had to learn to stand alone. And it’s such an empowing feeling to know you can.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Second REVIEW | aroused
I admire your strength. Thank you so much for sharing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a poignant and yet heart-warming post, Anna! Bravo for making it on your own, especially with a chronic illness. I admire you so much for your strength and sharing your story.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sure, no problem. Done.
You’re absolutely right about spreading the message.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You did well, it’s on line, thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Powerful story, thanks for your honesty and persistence! Others need to know you can separate and survive … I have several posts on my blog about DV, would you mind linking this post to one of them? The more you spread your message the more people you can help!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing your Origin Story!!! I cannot begin to tell you how encouraging it was as I am struggling with myself and my relationship with my spouse. There are points that you shared that in arguments, my husband has tossed at me. This post provided confirmation for me that the steps I am taking are the right ones and my unofficial mantra seems to have become, “It will get better, just not today”. Thank you for being your wonderful and marvelous self!
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re welcome, and thanks for the comment and for the kind words. I’m glad to know that my post was helpful and encouraging.
LikeLike