Reality is ruthless and unforgiving. You can’t help but feel eclipsed by it at times and have no other choice as to accept it.
My diabetes is under control but the neuropathy kicks in, oftentimes at the wrong timing. Is there a right timing? The nerve pain comes on when I’m doing chores and enjoying it, and then boom, it strikes. Or when I wake up in the morning. Argh
And then the anxiety joins the crowd. Lately I’ve been thinking about getting older and what the future holds. Right now I’m 65. My kids live miles away, my brother is 400 miles off to the west, and I am practically alone in my studio. As of now, I am independent and can do everything I need. Am trying not to think too far ahead.
Speaking of age, a few of my email buddies are no longer there. They are about my age or older. One of them, Dottie, is in her 80’s and still emailed me regularly up until lately. Then her daughter-in-law asks everyone on her list not to send emails until further notice. Dottie is ill, and I haven’t heard from her anymore. You’re in my prayers, Dottie dear.
Depression follows. I have episodes when I feel worthless, have no energy doing anything and proceed on blaming myself for every mistake I’ve ever made. This is so easy to do in hindsight when you know now what you didn’t know then. I am not giving in to this one, can pick myself up and function. Certainly don’t want to start taking meds for depression. Been there done that around the divorce time and don’t want to be there again.
Am trying to break the darn eclipse pattern and won’t let this take me over. One day at a time.
Inspired by my thinking about life and the Daily Prompt: ECLIPSE