Today’s Prompt: ECLIPSE. Eclipsed by reality check

Reality is ruthless and unforgiving. You can’t help but feel eclipsed by it at times and have no other choice as to accept it.

My diabetes is under control but the neuropathy kicks in, oftentimes at the wrong timing. Is there a right timing? The nerve pain comes on when I’m doing chores and enjoying it, and then boom, it strikes. Or when I wake up in the morning. Argh

And then the anxiety joins the crowd. Lately I’ve been thinking about getting older and what the future holds. Right now I’m 65. My kids live miles away, my brother is 400 miles off to the west, and I am practically alone in my studio. As of now, I am independent and can do everything I need. Am trying not to think too far ahead.

Speaking of age, a few of my email buddies are no longer there. They are about my age or older. One of them, Dottie, is in her 80’s and still emailed me regularly up until lately. Then her daughter-in-law asks everyone on her list not to send emails until further notice. Dottie is ill, and I haven’t heard from her anymore. You’re in my prayers, Dottie dear.

Depression follows. I have episodes when I feel worthless, have no energy doing anything and proceed on blaming myself for every mistake I’ve ever made. This is so easy to do in hindsight when you know now what you didn’t know then. I am not giving in to this one, can pick myself up and function. Certainly don’t want to start taking meds for depression. Been there done that around the divorce time and don’t want to be there again.

Am trying to break the darn eclipse pattern and won’t let this take me over. One day at a time.
Sept 4. TDP Prompt ECLIPSE. Arrow - one day at a time

Inspired by my thinking about life and the Daily Prompt:  ECLIPSE

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This entry was posted in anxiety, complications, Daily Prompt, Depression, diabetes, neuropathy, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Today’s Prompt: ECLIPSE. Eclipsed by reality check

  1. chattykerry says:

    Hello Anna, it is easy to feel hopeless when you are unwell and feeling vulnerable. There are some drugs that help with neuropathy that aren’t anti-depressants. Gabapentin is one and it can help with low mood also. Sometimes we just have a bad day. I didn’t notice my neuropathy today until I read your post…😜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for commenting, Kerry. I do take a low dosage of Gaba and hesitate to up it due to the possible side effects. I totally agree about the bad days. Thanks for your understanding.

    Like

  3. kate1975 says:

    Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Berni says:

    I used to dread loneliness but then I moved into a ruin-like house of my late mom and after a while, I’ve started enjoying alone time.

    I too suffer from depression and anxiety and can’t live without drugs. I hate drugs and dream of getting rid of them.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Kewrites says:

    Anna, I love you for one thing; even when all seems to lead you down the road to depression, you stand out to say “I am not giving in to this one” I simply love that. I pray you feel better soon and not thinking ahead

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dear Anna, as I read this, I can quite imagine what you are going through and especially with your family away from you. I have myalgic pains that can get very annoying at times and I honestly can’t imagine having a condition that brings constant discomfort like yours. You are smart, endearing and inspiring and thus said, have you thought of using your experience to teach others ‘maybe write a memoir’ or a self-help for diabetes. We all tend to feel worthless when we are down. Be well and take care of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Reality is unforgiving indeed. One day at a time seems like the best approach. Forgetting the pains of yesterday and shedding the weights of the anxieties about tomorrow. Wonderful post!

    Like

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